Agony In Eight Letters
What's a struggle that you've overcome in your life?
Agony In Eight Letters
I was twelve years old and the familiar panic gripped me. Heat rose up my body. My face was inflamed and I was trapped. We were supposed to be playing TV tag. I could handle that one. Write the letters in the dirt. Everyone would yell out their guesses. “ McHales’ Navy”, “Lost In Space”, “The Flintstones.” I had memorized all the initials and I was a good runner. The hottest day of the summer and stupid Billy decided he didn’t want to run.
“Let’s play Hangman,” he shouted. Grabbing the stick he drew eight blanks and a huge upside down L. “Barbara, you can go first since you’re new.”
I knew he liked me, but I was never ever going to forgive him for this. I calmed my breathing and mumbled out the letter A. Billy smiled at me and etched it in the dirt just above the first and fifth space. The girls all cheered. I relaxed and thought, maybe it will be all right. Another guess and thank God, my turn was up. My ears rang and my hands were clenched tight. My eyes darted around searching for a way out.
Six years of school and I had never learned to read or spell. My father was a Naval Air Patrolmen and we moved often. Twelve schools in six years. Our family had criss-crossed the country from one station to the next. We moved from one temporary housing unit to the another, always changing schools.
I had managed to keep my secret from everyone. Being new was a great excuse not to have to take those big tests. By the time the teachers started to catch on to me, we were loading up the moving van and my secret was safe. I hated school and this year had really been hard.
“It’s your turn,” Sammy, Billy’s annoying little brother said.
I stared at the dirt and I could feel the heat rising again. A L H A B E T -Nothing, I had nothing. I turned in a flash and ran as fast as I could. “I have to go to the bathroom. See you later.”
It was the best I could come up with as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn’t read. I couldn’t spell and I bet everyone knew how stupid I am now. I jumped the fence to our yard and made a mad dash to the tree-house. I slumped down against the wall and prayed my father would come home and say we were moving tomorrow. Maybe even tonight if I were lucky. Who was I kidding?
An hour pasted.
“Let down the ladder. I want to come up.” My new friend Carol called up to me.
I bet she was coming to make fun of me was all I could think. She was the smartest kid in my class. She had always been kind of nice to me, but who wants a dummy as a best friend. I bit my lower lip and tossed the ladder down. I don’t need a best friend anyway and I’ll just tell her that. This was my tree house and I might just decide to live up here forever. I am such a dummy no one will miss me anyway.
“Hi. Why didn’t you come back to play?” Carol waited for an answer and didn’t give a clue that she actually knew my secret. A long minute passed and she said, “Hangman is a dumb game. Not everybody is a good speller. Just like not everybody is a good runner. You could teach me to run fast and I could teach you to spell.”
I froze. There was that ringing again and my whole body tensed. “I can spell. I just didn’t want to play. I’m not stupid” I really was trapped this time and there was nowhere to run. I wasn’t going to cry no matter what. I clenched my fist ready to defend my honor, but who was I kidding. Maybe I am stupid.
“Of coarse you can spell,” Carol said. “You can do times tables way better than me. I wanted to show you a trick I learned. All big words are made up of little words and sounds. If you chop them up it gets easier. Al like Fat Albert. Pha sounds like fa. That’s a tricky one and bet is like I bet you run faster than all the boys.”
It was true. I could run faster than all the boys and I was pretty good with numbers. AL PHA and BET suddenly didn’t look so scary. My hand began to relax as she tossed me a piece of Juicy Fruit gum and said, “We’re going to stomp the boys in kickball with you on our team.
Years later, I am a sixth grade teacher. I look around my classroom and smile. The names have changed to Emma or Arrianna. There hasn’t been anyone named Carol or Barbara for years and the Billys are called William now, but they are there. They are the beautiful little souls who give with generosity and kindness. They just want to be your friend.
I will scatter my little Carol souls around the room and plant the amazing seeds. The seeds that will allow the shy girl in the corner to make eye contact one day. Maybe I will put William next to Jason, who spent most of last year in the principle’s office. He’s a tough guy who really needs a friend.
The bell rang to begin the new year. I turn and write my name on the corner of my new white board in big bold letters and the word alphabet below it. It will stay there until summer. Just like the letters in the alphabet, each of these children has his or her own identity and sound, but put them together and a whole new world comes alive. Knowledge and friendship feed the soul.
The blessing of that summer friendship stayed with me, even after our family moved on yet again. I learned to read that summer because of one such soul.
Thank you, Carol!
Hugs and Love,
Barbara, aka 1/2 of Ruby Sisters
Together we are one!
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The Why Oh Why Series is packed full of inspiration and funny tales encouraging lifelong lessons in teamwork, individuality, inclusiveness, and oh so much more for today’s early readers. Which book will your family read together first?